Abandonment the Journey

I keep looking for comfort from you.
I sit and wonder if your love is true.
You see me crying,
Inside you have to know I'm dying.
Don't you see these tears,
Don't you see the hurt from so many years.
No one to listen or even to talk to.
Recalling memories that hurt me through and through,
The things you ask of me,
It triggers a memory.
Memories I'd rather forget,
Memories embedded in my mind, completely set.
The hurt, the pain and anger won't go away.
I wonder who "loves me" and will turn their back today,
I can't explain how I feel inside.
Feelings of abandonment rush in like the tide,
Ghosts haunt me no matter where I go.
All I do is love still, that you should know.
I wish you could understand,
I would be there holding your hand,
I would take away all your pain.
So in the end, you'd have a life to gain,
But for me, darkness is all I see.
No happiness for this guy,
The adult lives he life.
Taking on happiness, sorrow and strife,
I hope someday you'll understand.
Someday I hope you'll be here to comfort me and hold my hand.
Until that day all I feel is punishment,
Along with those never-ending feelings of abandonment.