Alberto Stefano

I write because I've got a sentence stuck in my head.

Description: I have been working really hard on this story for the past 2 weeks now. The story is true, but I changed the name of the guy to protect his identity. A writer must dig a little into the past.. ;)

It was an evening in June. I packed up my suitcase, I was going away to spend the summer in Brazil. And there I met Alberto. He was tall, and a very handsome man. He was much younger, he was like 26 or maybe 28. He had thick black hair,very white totally perfect teeth. He smiled at me and I could see that he was used to smiling at people. His eyes were brown. But his smile was the most perfect thing about him. He was a very clever young man, with great love for music. Our first meeting was in a music store. We met again and again and we became very friendly. When Alberto and I first met I just thought it was a silly crush. Over time he grew on me; I found myself smiling, then I found myself thinking of him. I tried not to cry, but my tears still broke through. I always asked myself '' could it be true, or was this just a one off thing.''? He made me smile, he made me feel special.

I knew he didn't feel the same way about me, but he was absolutely everything I have always wanted in a man. Alberto was like my long lost prince charming, and his personality was indescribable. And I stumbled like I had nothing to say whenever he came around, and being completely shy and unable to express my love for him. I decided to start texting him, and making up crazy excuses just because I wanted to see him. I felt extremely guilty for not admitting I'd liked him at first, but I was crazy in love with him, and totally obsessed by him. I went to bed thinking, woke up thinking about him, I couldn't get him out of my thoughts. I was so desperate for him that I even considered getting pregnant just so if I wasn't with him I'd have a part of him to hold onto. I knew this was totally wrong and not sensible, but I wanted and needed him. Alberto and I went into town and had dinner together. We had dinner together every evening for a week. I was enjoying my new life, and so was Alberto. We talked freely. ''Suddenly he asked '' what's your true reason for coming to Brazil, and do you have a boyfriend?'' I said '' no.'' with a smile.

I lied to him because I wasn't ready to reveal my true identity. I had been up all night working. I went and took a long, hot shower. Warm water and fresh soap can work miracles, at least they always do for me. Afterwards, I felt like a new born baby. I wanted to tell Alberto everything he wanted to know about me. But when you have seen as much as I have, done as much I have, it just isn't possible to trust anybody anymore. But there was no point in getting depressed. I mean, why criticize what you can't change? Not that I didn't trust Alberto, but I never wanted him to pity me, and I usually didn't tell people my past. Make-up can hide the truth behind a mask. I started joking around with Alberto. He got really angry! I don't like your sense of humor, Ann. I guess he could see right through me, so I automatically started telling him who I was and my true reason for coming to Brazil.

I told him I was planning to write a book about runaways. Thousands of kids boys and girls of all ages run away from their homes every year. They all come to the big city because they want to make a living, but the big city is no place for a kid. Most people think it's a wonderful place. Just like in the movies, the truth is very different. The streets are full of sex, violence and drugs. Kids come here with no money in the end the only thing they have to sell is themselves. It's a short trip into prostitution. I came to Brazil because I wanted to get away from the difficulties I was having at home. My cousin was a beast, a real animal. He was after me all the time. I couldn't tell anyone. But the truth eventually came out. People didn't like talking about it. But that doesn't mean it didn't happen. It happened more often than people know. Lots and lots of girls run away from home because of that. And once they are on the street humor is like a shield for them. It protects girls like us from going crazy. I went as far as telling him how phenomenal I felt whenever he came around. I didn't mean to exaggerate whatsoever, but I wanted Alberto to feel the chemistry between us. Alberto was silent for a moment. Then finally, he replied in a low voice: '' I'm married, Ann.'' I was absolutely devastated, and humiliated. I felt completely invisible to him, but Alberto Stefano was a true gentleman. He had a very good personality, and reputation. And to me he's the perfect, smartest, and most cutest guy ever, and the respect I have for him will never go away.



By
Stacy Ann ♥♥

Best Friend

Dedicated to dear friend of mines.

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I'm here now to listen and understand.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share and help you obtain,

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can't tell you who you are.
I can only be your best friend.

AFRICA

Sand of the ocean runs red

Where the sunset reaches and quivers.

Sands of the ocen run yellow

Where the moon slants and wavers.

If only my life could be an ocean

Where my wisdom shall touch the world.

This is Africa.

New Beginning - A True Fighter

For someone who is only 21, I have been through a lot in my life already. I have always had to take care of myself, because my dopted family never properly looked after me. No one talked about it, it was just one of those things. I was sexually abuse by my cousin, Diamond Daniel Davis. I felt so sick, worrying about what would happen, and I was stressing out all the time. I was 13years old when it started, and the last time it happened was the 11th of April and the 20th of May. ( Many things happen behind closed doors.) I started drinking heavily just to get out of it, so; I didn't have to think about anything. People around could see that something was wrong with me, but I was scared to tell anyone; I thought it was my fault too because I didn't stop it. He used to tell me not to tell anyone; I didn't know what to do. My dad is my everything, so I explained the difficulties I was having; Which he told me to talk to an adult or try talking to our mom; ( Diamond's mom) Her reaction was rather disappointing, crocodile tears vis superficial sympathy was all I got from her. I mean I knew I wasn't her biological daughter, but it hurt knowing that I was all alone.

Suicidal thoughts was my first name, mostly because I was so frustrated I just wanted to disappear. I didn't see any reason of me living anymore because all the people I looked up to were the ones who brought frustration and suffering into my life; That was why I decided to take matters into my own hands, because I was so sick and tired of feeling like a Nobody; I started opening up about the abuses, and about how damaged my life was to the most amazing women and people I've ever met in my life. So I woke up one morning and decided, "I am going to change my life!" Funny! But, I needed to change my life, because; I was disrespected, mistreated, taking advantage of and you just mean it, and now, I want to put it all behind me; Have a fresh start and just look foreword and never look back again. All though, that is very hard to do when it has stabbed your heart to pieces, but it really doesn't matter, because I am just writing MY thoughts, feelings and parts of my life. It may be interesting to others and then... it may not. But, that is what makes people so interesting... they are different, wonderful individuals. Over the past few months I have pretty much gotten everything I have always wanted, a pleasant apartment, met some incredible people, and I got myself a very good psychologist.

I pretty much learned that going to a psychologist didn't mean you were and are dying from insanity. It means that you are willing to get some help for example "need help sorting out your feelings, finding solutions to your problems, wants to build your self-confidence or figure out ways to make more friends, or just feeling better". These people do amazing work, that are indescribable, and I think that they deserve an award for all the good things they do for people like us. Sometimes when I'm alone I imagine how my life would have been if I wasn't alive today, and the people who would have gone to my funeral would have never known the true caused to my death. I would have been known as '' Stacy Ann, dead and gone'' while Diamond and his family would have lived happily ever after, but Justice speaks for itself, because I am truly grateful that God has given me a second chance to find the real me, and realize that not all humans are the same. I look at myself as a fighter and a survivor, but I couldn't have defeated and overcome my enemies all alone. There is this one man that is greater than we all, Jesus Christ, the highest He provides my needs, and he knows my heart desire. I pray to him day and night, and I rejoice in my sufferings because I know I am rich in his kingdom, because he rescued me from my enemies.

Written by Stacy Ann